The Best Things to Do at the Beach if You Hate the Beach

Despite the hype, not everyone at Regent spends all their free time lounging at the beach. For those who aren’t as ocean inclined, here is one student’s survival guide.

We all have that friend who doesn’t like the beach. Or, if you’re anything like me, then you are that friend who doesn’t like the beach. When school first started, you thought, “No one can force me to go to the beach against my will! I am strong! I am strong!” But, oh no! Everyone else is going so you feel like you have to, too. The funniest thing is that no one is making you go, you just don’t want to be alone in your dorm room. Never fear! This list covers the best ways to waste your time well when dragged off to the beach

1. Take a book:

I know, super cliché, but at least you’ll look super scholarly while whiling away the hours. Now, this can be anything from the biology homework you’ve been putting off all week to some light reading like John Green. Whatever you bring, it’s super relaxing to listen to the shore and get lost in the world of that book.

2. Bring two towels:

One of these is for you to lay down on, the other is to cover yourself so that you don’t get sunburned when you’re taking that nap. Make sure that that second towel covers all of you, because the worst feeling is when you wake up and your feet feel like they’ve been baking over hot coals for two hours.

3. Take lots of cups and bowls from your dorm room, because you don’t have any sand toys:

I know that part of the reason why you dislike the beach is because of all of the sand, but making sand castles can be fun.  Even if you don’t like castles, you can always make sand-trenches to fortify yourself against the waves.  If you forgot the cups and bowls, then make drip castles.  If you spend enough time and effort with your creation, it’s sure to get a few compliments from passersby.

4. Take a nice long walk:

There is so much shore, oh my goodness! It’s so nice to wander at your own leisure with no shoes on your feet and that beautiful expanse of blue sky above you. If the beach is crowded, this is a great way to get away from people, and if it isn’t, it’s still great exercise. Plus, you never know what cool shells you can pick up or the kind of weirdos you’ll see.

5. Create nicknames and backstories for the weirdos you see:

This is one of my favorite games, and is a fun thing to do anywhere but can be especially intriguing at the beach. For example, no one knows that that guy with the metal collector is actually a dentist looking for a filling he was going to give to the secretary of state. It’s a golden filling, so it’s really important to him. Go ahead and try it! The more random, the better.

photo-1469286714608-0defd688c4e36. When you get back from your walk, bury a friend in the sand:

Burying anything in the sand is great entertainment, but if you can convince a friend to be buried then all the better. It’s great to create a design around that person, like a mermaid tail, hippopotamus, or the like. Not only is this relaxing for the person being buried, it’s also tons of fun for all involved.

7. Get your crush to teach you how to ride that board thing:

If you are going with your group of friends, then, odds are, your crush may be in the group. It follows logically then that if your crush is in your group of friends, then they must like the beach. If your crush likes the beach, they probably have a board of some kind. If your crush has a board of some kind, then they definitely know how to ride it well. This means that they won’t mind teaching you. This card is only playable once, but I guarantee that the beach will become one of the best places on Earth for about half an hour while he or she is teaching you how to ride that surfboard, boogie board, or sand-puddle-board… thing… (you know what I mean).

8. Find one of those wooden posts that stick up out of the ground and practice your Karate Kid pose:

You’re not nerdy! You’re cool! Make sure you can get somebody to take a pic. If you’re a perfectionist like me, then you might spend a little too much time with this, but come on! It has to look just like the movie! Lighting, the angle of your flexed foot, the amount that your wrist has to bend, everything. And, just in case you were wondering, it turned out really great.

And… Finally… Drumroll, please…

9. Pretend that you aren’t at the beach:

This is best accomplished by situating yourself to face away from the water. Imagine that you are sitting someplace else, anywhere from a busy street corner in France to a rocket ship heading towards Mars. I mean, you didn’t want to be here in the first place, right? Trust me, it’s more entertaining than you think (and no one has to know).

And there you have it! Go forth now, my children, and avoid the boredom that you used to believe was inescapable when visiting the seaside!

Ashley is a contributor to the Daily Runner.