Florida is Not for Everybody

I will not live in Florida. I just will not do it. My reason? Florida, after all, has the Daytona Beach, Sea World, the Everglades, not to mention Disney World and Universal. So, what is my grievance against the Sunshine State? Two words – Burmese python.

The Burmese python or Indian python is native to Asia, not Florida. But researchers speculate that there may be thousands, if not tens of thousands, residing in Florida’s wetlands. How? The jump in numbers is thanks to weather – destructive hurricanes that demolished numerous pet warehouses, which inevitably released the exotic stock into the wild – and pet owners – incompetent people who bought a 20-inch baby Burmese only to let it loose later when it got to be “too much snake.”

Burmese Anatomy

According to National Geographic, a Burmese python can easily weigh 200 (sometimes 400) pounds and can reach 16-23 (sometimes 26) feet in length. The mega-reptiles can swim 6 miles straight, stay submerged underwater for 30 minutes and grow to be as thick as a telephone pole. But wait, here’s even better news –wild Burmese have a life span of 20-25 years, and the females lay clutches that average 12-36 eggs every spring. Do the math.

On top of that, they can digest almost anything, and they do. Autopsy reports have found the remains of squirrels, rats, rabbits, raccoons, wood storks, bobcats, white-tailed deer and even alligators in Burmese pythons. It is true. One study found that an adult Burmese could fully digest and breakdown an alligator half its size within 6 days. Of course, not all pythons have the stomach for gator. Note the picture.

Now, clearly – at least in my mind – if a Burmese can successfully devour a 6-8 foot gator, then a 5 foot 2 inch person like me would pose no problem for a famished adult python.

Taking Action

I will give Florida some credit. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission announced that from March 8 to April 17 any and all pythons are fair game to hunters (with a license). Also, Fed-Ex, UPS and USPS drivers are joining the Eyes & Ears Team, a statewide task force dedicated to running over calling in every python sighting.

At the same time though, I do have to call them out on one rather giant loophole. According to a recent Nature special, around 12,000 shipments of wildlife arrive every year through Miami. Each year from 2006-2010, Miami received approximately 35,000 pythons. That equals 140,000 pythons in 4 years. So, basically, Florida is still America’s main pit stop for the very reptiles that plaque the state. Ironic? Good news is that there is a bill that would prohibit the importation of Burmese pythons. Currently, that legislation is…pending.

Besides the Burmese pythons, Florida has also taken in 5 other Reptiles of Concern (ROC) including the Reticulated python, the African Rock python, the Amethystine or Scrub python, the Green anaconda and the Nile monitor. To me, that is just 5 more reasons why not to live in Florida.

My Knick of the Woods

Now, I am a North Carolina girl. I have grown-up in the boonies surrounded by a variety of reptiles. Over the years, my family and I have had snakes on our driveway, in our trees, at our front door, in our pool, in our garage and nearly in our house. I have tracked, chased, played and even killed snakes. In one case, I was actually chased by a snake – although my mother would say different. I have seen Black snakes, Garter snakes, King snakes, Red-bellies and Cottonmouths. But, none can even begin to compare to the size and the strength of a Burmese python.

Now, I am not naïve. I am well aware that these Burmese predators are not bound to Florida. In fact, new climate maps published by the U.S. Geological Survey claim that, “The native climate of the invasive pythons — from Pakistan to Indonesia — is the same as about one-third of the United States,” – that one-third, of course, being the entire southern United States.

In essence, it seems completely and unavoidably possible that these Burmese pythons – along with every other Southern friendly ROC in Florida – will make the trip to settle in my hometown. But, until that happens, I take comfort in the fact that the only snakes I see outside my door now do not consider me fast food.